"Am I dying? I don’t know. On Saturday, I thought I was probably going to end up in the hospital, and I wondered if I would die. And I panicked, a little bit. It wasn’t that I might die, but that I hadn’t finished something. I had spent hours and hours organizing my house, and buying things I thought my family would need, and sorting through trash, and endlessly DOING things, that I hadn’t spent any time writing anything down for my children, or my husband, or my friends. I had things to say, and I hadn’t said them.

"I saw a bumper sticker the other day. It said: What if doing the Hokey Pokey IS what it’s all about?
I laughed, and thought of Paula, and the time she made me stand up at the front at a playschool tea, and do the Hokey Pokey in front of all the parents and grandparents. Good times.

Doing the Hokey Pokey.
The more I thought about it, the more I came to think that there is a grain of truth in that statement.
What do you do in the Hokey Pokey?
You put your right hand in,
you take your right hand out,
You put your right hand in
And you shake it all about.
You do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around,
That’s what it’s all about.

BUT that’s NOT what it’s ALL about, because then you have to do it all over again with your left hand.
And then you think, “Okay, I get it… THAT’S what it’s ALL about.”

BUT you’re NOT done.
You have to put your right foot in, and then your left foot in, and then your head.
And you think you’re finally done.
But you’re not, because then you have to put your whole body in.

It’s very exhausting.
Which is why teachers of small children like it.

I think one of the reasons why the Hokey Pokey is so exhausting is because you keep thinking that it’s over… that you’ve done all the verses, and that you’re finally finished. But you’re never finished.

Life IS a little bit like doing the Hokey Pokey.
Have you ever been through something difficult? A time when you had to rely on God for something – strength, patience, safety, health? A time when you knew that it was just you and God? And you knew that if you didn’t cling to Him, you would just slide into the abyss?

If you’re alive, and if you have a relationship with God, then I’m sure you’ve had times like this. It might have been just a moment, or it may have lingered for months, or even years. And sometimes, when it is all over, we can look back and see how God touched our life in the midst of that darkness. We see a truth we learned, or a little growth spurt we experienced, or a deepening of our relationship with God. And we might be tempted to think that we figured it all out. That we know the WHYS.

I can’t tell you how many times I have figured out what life is all about. Or, at least, what my life is all about.
And I’d say to God, “OH! I get it! THAT’S what this is all about!” And I’d refer to the lesson, I thought I had learned through it all. But, like the Hokey Pokey, I’d turn myself about, and find myself learning the same lesson again later on. The circumstances might be different, but the “lesson” was similar.

It’s like there’s an overarching theme to my life. It’s different for all of us, but for me, this overarching theme has often had to do with learning how to let go of my expectations about what my life is going to be like.
Learning how to relinquish this obsessive need to control everything, and to make everything go MY way."

I first began to pray for a person who had that name.  She had cancer, young children and a loving husband.  She was the sister-in-law of my friend.  It is hard to pray for a name with cancer so Sandy began to take on a life as reports trickled back.  She survived that round of cancer. This round they tell her will not have the same result.

Most of us know of stories like this.  Few of us have been this story.  All of us will one day have to address this reality. And who of us knows how we will react?  It is difficult to walk into the unknown.  Some courageous people have shared their journeys with a privileged few.  Most of us have not known such courage.  So, with Sandy's permission, we are privileged to walk in the shoes of one who is saying goodbye but also believing that her life can just as easily be extended.  To those who have ears to hear, this is rich soil.

"I feel as though I am in a cone of grace, sheltered from the grief that howls around me. My friends are in pain, my family worried,my body abandoning me. And yet, here I stay in the gentle grasp of the God of Hope.
Yesterday, I went forward for prayer, and held up my hands, open for God to fill. My prayer is for all to come under the shelter of His wing into that place of refuge, to rest in the warmth of His breast.
God is at work in power, and I am just here to watch and wonder. Share what you will."  Sandy

These are excerpts from Sandy's blog

"We think we know what is good and what is evil. We have a propensity to make judgements about the things that come into our lives; to declare whether something is good or bad. We make judgements based on whether things make us happy or sad. If it makes us happy, it must be a good thing. If it makes us sad, or causes pain, it must be a bad thing.

Two years ago, I had rectal cancer. I had surgery, and months of radiation and chemo.
And God was there in power, refining me through fire.
And I was better.
And I went back to work.
And I was so happy.

But about two months ago, I received confirmation that the cancer had returned. And this time, it is not curable.

When I started telling people that the cancer had returned, there were a lot of different responses.
But one response that I found a bit puzzling was when people said to me, “Cancer is NEVER part of God’s plan!”

Really?
Well, it certainly wasn’t my plan.
But, I’m not the one writing the book.

Hebrews 12:2 says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God.”

He is the AUTHOR and PERFECTER of my FAITH
* Notice that it says FAITH not LIFE – this tells me that my faith is more valuable to God than my life is.

So, maybe God will write some really hard things into my life to perfect my faith, or to “finish” my faith, as the King James version says.  So, I don’t want to say that cancer is a bad thing in my life; that it’s evil if God’s big plan is to use cancer to perfect my faith.

And not just my faith.

My little baby girl is seven years old; her brother is ten. MY plan is to be a mother to my children, and to raise them as best as I can: to help my daughter choose a wedding gown; to watch my son deliver the valedictory address at his graduation. MY plan is to grow old with my husband.

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

But God is writing a really big story, and I am not the main character. HE is the main character of my story. And He has already designed my story to perfect my faith. It’s not just my faith that’s being finished here. The little collection of short stories that makes up my life is connected to the stories that make up Laurie’s life, and her collection is connected to Lynay, and Lynay’s are connected to Tammie’s, and so on.

The story God is writing is HUGE.

A couple of weeks ago, my surgeon said to me, “You must feel as though you’ve landed in the deep water without a life preserver. I wish I could throw you a life preserver, but I don’t know which one to throw.”
They can’t get to the bottom of this cancer. It’s a tricky one, and they don’t know how to treat it yet.

So I went home, and thought about what he had said; and a few days later I wrote him a note. I said: I already have a life preserver. His name is Jesus, and no matter how deep the water gets, or how rough the waves, I know that He will encircle me with His arms, and keep me safe. He holds my life and keeps me from sinking. I told him that my children are praying for God to dissolve the cancer and make me whole. I let them pray like that, and I told him that whether God heals me or not, my life is in His hands and I trust Him.

My surgeon’s faith is part of the story, too. And God’s plans will prevail."

Yesterday I was online checking my banking statements and noticed that $20,000.00 had been taken from my home owners line of credit. My bank card had been compromised and my accounts had been accessed.

In one sense it felt like too much in too short a time.  Give me bad news in smaller bites. 

My first thoughts were to recovering what had been stolen.  My second thoughts were the cost that will have to be incurred at a time when pay checks are scarce. The third round, I began to check to see how I was feeling towards the individuals who had invaded my life.  Was I mad?  Did I want to see them pay for what they did?  What emotions were beginning to guide me?

Strange how God seemed to take me to the Beatitudes (Matthew 5 & 6).  Love your enemies.  Pray for those who persecute you? - Have you ever wondered why? My first prayer might have gotten it a little bit wrong.  It started out something like, “Get them God.”

One of my favourite movies that no one will want to watch is “Angel and the Bad Man”; the 50’s version with John Wayne. Angel is a Quaker girl who is falling in love with a killer. They are walking in her fields when Wayne notices dried up irrigation ditches.  Explaining why they were dry, Angel tells of a man who owns the water rights who had diverted the water back onto his own land.  She also mentions that they are praying.

Wayne assumes they are praying that God will send the water again.  She answers, “No, we are praying for the man.  Every day he holds back the water, he is damaging his soul.” - I’ve never forgotten the profound truth behind that statement. They loved this man more than their need for water. 

When Jesus elevates the second greatest command (love your neighbour as yourself) to the same level as the first (love God completely), you wonder why Jesus would imply that my neighbour is as important as God is?  Yet if I don’t love my neighbour as myself, who do you suppose I love more?  And if I love myself more, then how can I love God with all my heart, all my soul, all my strength, and all my mind?  I simply cannot love God the way I should if I can’t begin to love my neighbour as much as I love myself.  But if I truly love God, then my heart will also long to love what he loves and care for what he cares for.  

I’ve begun to pray for the souls of the people who have stolen from me. I’ve begun to ask God to spare them from a lifestyle that is lazy, that exploits and doesn’t want to work.  I am asking God to use this experience to change them, introduce himself to them and to set them free from a path that will ultimately lead to their own loss.

Since then I have been able to have this conversation with the RCMP and now with you.

There has to be a willingness to think differently if we are ever to understand what Paul meant when he pleaded for us to have renewed minds (Romans 12).  We don’t have to live in a box of an eye for an eye.  We can rise above it.  We can become individuals who bring reconciliation to a broken system.  But it all comes down to how much I honestly love God.

• A mark of rebellion; the result of Adam’s disobedience (Genesis 3:17-19)

• The thicket which held a sacrifice captive as Abraham decided to sacrifice his son (Genesis 22:13)

• The symbol of suffering (Isaiah 53:5)

• The mocking crown of Roman soldiers (Matthew 27:27-31)

• A symbolic clue to the sovereign reign of Messiah (Philippians 2:5-11)

• The path to a crown of life (Revelations 2:10)

Written by HARV MATCHULLIS (used with permission)

Jesus was asked a familiar question. It wasn’t intended to entrap him. This man was posturing with the audience. His question was one to which he already knew the academic answer. He wasn’t motivated by a desire to discover something new. Rather, in asking, he sought to impress the crowd with his depth of spiritual inquiry.

We know his question.  We also know his answer and we know the answer Jesus gave.  It is familiar.  It is like a warm blanket on a cold night. Familiar, predictable - but tell it again.  

“Jesus, what do I need to do to inherit eternal life?” - What does it say in God’s Law?

“Love God completely and love my neighbour as myself. - Who is my neighbour?”

“I’ll tell you a story,” says Jesus.

A man was mugged and left for dead on a deserted road. A priest came by and saw him but did nothing.  So too did a Levite, a man who worked in the temple. Eventually a Samaritan came by.  This was a man whose ancestors rejected God.  They intermarried with other nations and worshipped other gods. This man, a Jew would utterly reject.  Yet this man cared for the victim, broken in body, nearly dead. He brought him to an inn.  He nursed him through the night. He left cash for his needs to be met and pledged to reimburse any additional expense.  This man, did that.

“Which was the neighbour for the victim?” - The one who had mercy on him. 

A comforting story.  A familiar story.  A story I have completely misunderstood for most of my life.

What was the original question? “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” And what does this story have to do with that question?

I had assumed this story was more about the second question. “Who is my neighbour?” It is, but in the context of the first question. 

This might be a good time to get a Bible and turn to Luke 10:25-37 and follow the progression.  The questions are:

“What must I do to inherit eternal life?” (v.25)

“What is written in the Law?” (v. 26) Answer: Love God and my neighbour.

“Who is my neighbour?” (v.29)

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbour to the man? (v.36)

Part of the answer to the first question is that I must love my neighbour.  Who is the neighbour in this story?  The Samaritan. But that is not my familiar answer.  That isn’t the warm blanket for me.  It’s supposed to be the wounded guy.  I felt comfortable knowing that I can help the abused and broken.  But that isn’t what is actually said here.  What is actually said is that I need to love the one who found me broken and dying, helpless and vulnerable.  In loving that person, I am to “go and do likewise.”

For most of my life the story of the Good Samaritan was about loving the broken.  In reality, it is a story that explains what I must do to inherit eternal life.  Only when I recognize that I would have died at the side of the road, that I have received mercy and given another chance at life, only then do I fully realize the gift given to me.  Only then, am I able to understand why I should bind up the wounds of the broken.

And just when I thought I knew how the story ended, God’s Spirit changed the plot. Jesus reminds us again in this parable, that apart from him, we can do nothing.

Quit what?  

“Quit trying.” ~  Quit trying to do what?  

“Quit trying to be a Christian.” ~ What?  Are you insane?  Do you know what people are going to say if they hear me say that?  Do you know what could happen?  They’ll say I’ve denied my faith.  And what if they’re right? What if I end up denying that you exist at all? You want me to quit?  I don’t know you.  You are not the package I have been sold my entire life.  You are supposed to be predictable.  How can you ask me to quit?  I have to do my part.  I have to do your will.  I have to be holy like you are holy.  You even said so yourself.

“Walk with me.” ~  I don’t know how.  

“Try putting one foot ahead of the other.  Don’t look way down the trail.  Start with just one foot in front of the other.” ~  But where are we going?  

“Does it matter?” ~  Of course it matters!  What if I go to the wrong place?  What if I don’t go where I am supposed to go? What if I mess up everything by wandering off?  

“If you are wandering off with me, can you really mess up?  How wrong can you be if I am walking with you?” ~ You don’t know me.  You don’t know what others say or could say.  

“Which is it?  What others say? Or, what others could say?” ~  A bit of both I guess.  I’ve had a few who thought I was a bit heretical.  

“Are they the norm?” ~ No.  But I fear what others might say.

“How much of your life do you live in fear of what other’s might say?” ~  A lot actually.  

“Why do you think that is?” ~ Because I want them to like me.  I want to be valued.  I want people to think that I am wise and smart.  I want to feel like I am good at something and that my life has meaning.  That I am good enough to be special.

“What if I told you that you didn’t need to do anything to be special?  What if I could help you believe that you were special because I made you that way?”  ~ ... I don’t know.  I have spent my whole life believing that I had to measure up.  What do I do if I don’t have to prove my significance?

“Try putting one foot ahead of your other one.” ~  That’s it!  That’s all you’re going to tell me?  I need to know what I need to do.  I need to know where I am going. I need to know the expectations that I have to fulfill so that I don’t screw it up and end up looking foolish or worse, stupid, incompetent, immature ~ just ordinary David ~ nobody special.

“How far down the road did you just run?  I can hardly see you you’re so far away.  From my vantage point, you are already down in that far away valley and you ran there all by yourself; alone.  You can’t see Me there because I didn’t walk with you there.” ~ I just want to please you.  I just want to know I am doing it right.  I don’t want to have more failure in my life.

“You seem to be focused on your inabilities, your failures, your fears, your needs, your wants, your achievements, your recognition, your value... Do you notice the one thing these all have in common?” ~ Cut it out! That’s not fair. Don’t twist what I say.  I am trying to please you.  I am trying to live the Christian life.  I want to be a good follower of Jesus.  Don’t make light of my pain and don’t make light of my effort.

“That’s good.  Get it out.” ~  God ... You’re supposed to correct me.  You’re supposed to tell me that I am not to question you; that it is sacrilege to talk to you like this.  You’re supposed to do the Charlton Heston thing on the mountain - booming voice of God shouting, ‘Thou Shalt Not Mess With God!’

“I love you David. I love you just the way you are.  I love your brokenness.  I love your struggle even when it took you to sin.  I love your heart and the genuine desire to know me.  I love your confusion that resulted in you chasing down roads that left you dirty and sometimes bleeding. Ultimately you dead-ended in places where you knew you needed to re-trace your steps back to this place.”    ~ And where is this place exactly? 

“It is where I AM.”  ~ Oh God ... I am afraid of this place.  It is a place that I cannot manipulate.  It is holy.  In this place I have no pretense.  You know me here.  I am dirty.  The pedestals I have stood on are cheap trinkets and the praises of others have a putrid smell.  God, in this place I am nothing. 

“David, my son.  You are my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.” ~ Look at me!  I am filth.  My whole attention is in self-absorption.  My whole life has been all about me.  How can you say you are pleased with me?

“Do you honestly believe that I do not know who you are?  I formed you in your mother’s whom.  I knit you together.  I know the plans I have for you David.  They are not plans to harm and destroy.  They are plans to bring healing and wholeness.  No eye has seen.  No ear has heard.  No one has ever conceived what I have in store for you.  You are my cherished possession.  I love you with an everlasting love.  I have always loved you.  When you longed to be held, to be noticed, to be valued and cherished - I loved you.  

“Some in the spirit world do not. Some have intended to hurt you, wound you, break you. That will not happen. I AM has been with you even when you could not see and your ears could not hear.  Your brokenness will become your greatest strength.”

Have you ever stopped to realize that you have no secrets? Nothing about you surprises God.  His love for you is not conditioned to your response to him.  He loves you regardless of how you treat him.  If you obey him completely, he will not love you more than he has always loved you.  His love is perfect.  It is everlasting.

“Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgment, and this shows that his love has not been perfected in us.  We love each other as a result of his loving us first.”

1 John 4:18-19

I am old enough to have transitioned through almost every stage of television technology.  Black & white with limited stations and hours; the tube; flat panel; high def; 

Blue Ray 3D (don’t own that one but have seen it).  The picture and experience gets better and better.  But no matter how profound the experience, I remain a spectator.  I can enter in but am still not a part.  It parallels my faith.  I recognize that the longing and the drawing I am experiencing is to become part of the screen play.

How can a person be drawn into the life and breath interaction with Jesus?  When can we distinguish between speaking about the authority of the Christ and speaking his authority?  When does petition move to dialogue?  

Jesus made a distinction between servants and friends.  The invitation was to friendship. I have thought about the difference.  How would my treatment of a servant, assuming I was the best of masters, differ from my relationship with a friend? (John 15:15)  Clearly friendship carries with it a greater level for freedom, entitlement and a different set of expectations.  Friendship relies heavily upon desire where servanthood rests on control.  Yet the posture of a servant is so frequently seen within Christendom.  Jesus himself took up a towel and washed feet.  Yet the profoundness of that act is only recognized when you realize that he was not required to do it.  He chose to do it out of love.  

Have I carried the wrong concept of servanthood into my faith journey? 

I have friends who tell me that we need the “Martha’s” of the Bible.  She was Mary’s sister who was doing all the work while Mary sat and listened to Jesus.  My friends tell me that without “Martha’s”, nothing would get done. So why does Jesus say that Mary has chosen the better thing? (Luke 10:38-42)  It simply isn’t true that “Mary’s” do not work.  I would suggest to you that the “Mary’s” of this world are the ones who have discovered the role of friend and the “Martha’s” still see themselves as servants.  Mary’s are the Mother Theresa’s.  Martha’s are the keepers of the institution.  They fulfill a job, a role, an obligation.

Much more will be done by the person who is responding because of love than the one who is acting out of duty.  Love trumps duty.

It is interesting though to have experienced so much resistance from friends on this very point.  I have come to believe that they have a very difficult time trusting love.  It can’t be controlled.  It can’t be demanded.  It is therefore impossible to predict and we do not have authority over it to force it to conform.  Because its starting point is love and not duty, it cannot be forced.  Once it responds based on coercion, it is no longer an act of love.  It is an act of duty performed by a servant, not a friend.

The difference between the two is that one finds himself as a spectator and the other in the screenplay.  You may have the latest technology but it still leaves you observer.  Somewhere there is a place of discovery in our faith, when realization comes and surrender is more complete. It is difficult to rest in the truth that we are loved, we are friends, we are intimate with God and he with us.  Yet faith is being part of the cast.  The most minuet role is more engaging than observation using the most sophisticated technology.