God talks to me at times and He has been busy in my waking moments today. So it was time to get up and write down what he said.

I thought I would share a new thought that God has given me from a little book called, Dare to Journey with Henri Nouwen, by Charles Ringma. Charles taught at Regent College, is an Australian, and is currently dying of cancer.

Here are some of his thoughts. They were meaningful to me and I have been prompted to share them with you. So there is no other reason than that.

“God’s presence can be a hidden presence…because we fail to see him who is so near…I do not see that God is all around me and that I am always trying to see what is ahead, overlooking him who is so close. There are many reasons for our failure to see, apart from our being so concerned about future projects that we fail to see present blessings. We also fail to see because we are looking for the wrong indicators. We may be looking for peace when God’s presence is in the turmoil. We may be looking for resolution when hope lies in the non-fulfillment of our present expectations. We may be wishing for answers when God’s goodness is manifest in further questions.

“God is closer than we think.We need, however, to develop a new confidence that he inhabits our despair as well as our praises.” (emphasis mine)

I guess I knew that, but it has been so hard to trust him there; to actually have confidence that God can only reveal certain things about his faithfulness if I am willing to look for him in the suffering and not seek to run from it. Embracing my trial in order to know God is a new concept that I wish to pursue - but in its pursuit I recognize a sense of “Uh oh - what will God bring on if I ask for this.”

That innate fear is something I have come to reject. I allowed those thoughts of, “Don’t ever tell God that I wont do something, because that is the very thing he will make me do”, to creep into my heart’s belief. I don’t accept that any longer. I am discovering that God does not set out to intentionally make me do all that I hate. Rather he simply deals with me in my areas of challenging him. Wherever I resist God, he will deal with me there. It can range from issues of pride that keep my hands at my side when all others are free to raise them to his praise, to refusals to submit whole areas of my life to him. God doesn’t honestly care if I serve him in Africa or the North Pole. He frankly can accomplish his plan regardless, but he does want to help me understand why I am resisting him in each area. So he takes me there.

I have at times interpreted that as a “heavy hand”, only to discover that it was always gentle under the veneer. My youngest daughter illustrated the point moments after I finished writing this. She woke up early from a bad dream. “Someone had tried to kidnap her and broke her leg.” An ugly thought, don’t you think?

I’m not sure where it came from, but we had a good time together. She on my lap, held in my arms as we talked about “Abba” and how he chose her and us to be together. (She is from China.) I lay with her for a while, holding her close. And my prayer for her was not that God would remove her fears from her but that he would cradle them in his hands around her. It was vivid imagery that showed me how fears could dissipate when they were surrounded by something greater. In the process our confidence in God would grow to support us in times when his presence is blurred by suffering.

So I share these thoughts with you. - Just because.

David